American readers, you may not know there is a fizzy kind of lemonade that does not contain anything remotely lemon-like, and that is what you will get if you order lemonade. And you will sit, horrified, looking at the glass and say, ‘but I didn’t order Sprite’ and wonder what kind of mad people live here. Also, there will be no ice in the glass, and this will disturb you. You’ll probably leave an absurdly low tip as a result, not realising that because no one in the UK leaves a tip at all, your implied insult will actually be taken as overexuberant tourist generosity. I know, because you were sitting next to me Friday afternoon at a cafe when it happened. I was the one wearing the floppy hat, reading.